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As you may already know, a big focus of my work within the last few years has been that of education. I have found that most parents learn of the minefields and trip wires of parental alienation only after they have been stumbled upon and have exploded.  It is important to understand and recall that Parental Alienation is a form of child abuse. The manipulation of one’s children to the belief that their other parent does not love them, is the cruelest form of child abuse.  I have been involved with the devastating problem of Parental Alienation long enough to have a personal sense of the progress we have made, and the progress still needed. Much has happened in the field of Parental Alienation since 1984 when Richard Gardner, MD published his first paper describing Parental Alienation Syndrome.  Parental Alienation, wherein a child no longer wants to see a once loved parent due to the influence of the other parent, is not the only reason that a child might not want to see that parent. When parents are abusive, neglectful, frightening, etc., these behaviors on the part of that parent can also cause a child to not want to see them. This is not Parental Alienation of the kind often referred to as Parental Alienation. Therefore, when a parent has been abusive to their child to the degree that the child no longer wants to see them, this is not Parental Alienation.  I am frequently asked, “Why do I need a Consultant for my Parental Alienation Case?” First and foremost, if you were searching for information about Parental Alienation, it is likely that you may be personally concerned about these issues in your own life and family. If so, it is vitally important that you realize that the specific issues that appear in Parental Alienation cases are very different than those arising in even a contentious divorce when alienation is not an issue. A few examples may be illustrative. It is well understood that visitation interference is a central theme in Parental Alienation cases, as are false allegations of abuse. If one’s attorney is not familiar with this, it is very likely that improper advice will be given, such as “not making waves,” that the “kids will come around” and “not to make an issue of a little bit of visitation being missed.” If alienation was not present in an ongoing divorce, this advice would be very likely appropriate.  In this article I outline the foundation of what I believe is a very helpful set of Parental Alienation coping strategies designed specifically for targeted parents. Targeted parents, after all, live in perpetual states of reactiveness. The Targeted Parent is chronically left to respond to attacks, accusations, provocations and various slanders of all descriptions by various accusers. This enormously difficult psychological environment is a recipe for the development of either acting out behaviors and/or depression.  The 8 Symptoms of Parental Alienation: Weak or Frivolous Rationalizations for the Deprecation1/13/2017
 In describing the eight symptoms associated with parental alienation, it occurred to me that this might be a good time to pause for a moment and to describe how Richard Gardner, MD came up with these patterned symptoms. As you all probably know, Richard Gardner was a physician who practiced psychiatry primarily in New York and New Jersey.
 This post is the first of eight weekly posts focusing on each of the eight symptoms of Parental Alienation first identified by Richard Gardner, M.D.
 One of the most mysterious and vexing issues related to the subject of Parental Alienation, as especially Parental Alienation Syndrome, is the continued criticisms of it.
In most cases, the criticisms are based in misinformation. One of the most prevalent of these notions is that Parental Alienation is used as a shield to deflect from the abuse of a child by a parent. This is simply not the case. |
J. Michael Bone, PhD.Dr. Bone is an experienced consultant for cases involving Parental Alienation and has spent over 25 years working with high conflict divorce as a therapist, expert witness, mediator, evaluator and consultant, both nationally and internationally. Archives
June 2019
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