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The Secret Rules of Family Court

12/15/2016

 
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Recently I spoke with a parent who was following the direction of the court, and in so doing, contacted a Psychologist as directed.

​From the conversation that occurred between this parent and the Psychologist, it became fairly clear to me that the court had not been clear about the role that this Psychologist was supposed to play, that of evaluator or that of therapist. 
​This is a very significant distinction in that the role of a therapist and the role of an evaluator are as different as night and day.

It is surprising that very often, Family Law Judges are not aware of this distinction, and therefore issue unclear and ambiguous orders.

The significance of this is that if she, in fact, was to contact this Psychologist to act as an evaluator, she herself should not have contacted him, but her lawyer should have. Her contacting him, assuming he was to act as an evaluator, would have tainted his objectivity to the degree that he probably would have declined to take the job as evaluator.

The problem is nobody tells you these rules before you enter into these actions. The fact of the matter is that many otherwise well qualified attorneys and judges do not really understand this. I know that this must sound ridiculous, however I suspect many who may read this post can describe the price they ended up paying for not knowing any better. 


In Family Law there are many rules that are never described. Most often, parents learn of them after they inadvertently break them, honestly not knowing any better.

In the adversarial environment of the the court, the hapless parent in the hypothetical example described above, could have been portrayed by the other side as perhaps sabotaging the whole process and the court's wishes, which was never the case at all.

I would have difficulty counting the number of times I have heard the comment that "if I only understood then, what I now have learned now, none of this would have happened."

Parental Alienation Education for Attorneys

Effective litigation can change the face of Parental Alienation. The National Association of Parental Alienation Specialists, of which I am Co-Founder, has launched a new online workshop - "Litigating Family Law Cases with Parental Alienation" - please help us to spread the word about this FL Bar approved workshop by sharing this link with your attorney, and others specializing in Family Law. ​

Susan Gregory
12/22/2016 03:19:31 pm

The psych evaluator diagnosed me with PTSD depression anxiety. Can they even do that? I agreed to see psychiatrist at dhr referral in hopes to regain custody of my teen daughter. I have volunteered to go to counseling out of my own expense still they say I'm to blame for actions if my ex (sexual abuse)!!!

Erika
9/7/2018 08:24:30 am

I have had 730 psychological evaluations. Where father has been assessed with Anti Social Traits, Anti Social Attitudes, a number of Anti Social Characteristics. For me it said I was though and sophisticated in my detailed responses and would be able to address any complex issues that could arise with children whereas father would struggle. I also had minor depression and anxiety. Custody was to me. Father wasn’t happy.

We then had an assesment.
Father began texting he was ready to have our daughter live with him and all was set and ready to go. Her room and school was waiting. He threatened If I went back to work he would file for custody. I had been option of disability because if injuries I sustained. I opt for that. I choose to be a full time mom. The results to assessment was that I again was to have custody. Father was not happy.

The week the assessment came out. I was accused of abuse. No investigation because my 8 year old with learning disabilities, said I did it. I asked EVERYONE to look at the time line. No one cared or looked.

Dec 26 she went on visit with father.
Dec 29 “bruises” we found
No PCP, medical, urgent care, emergency room doctor, she was not taken to seek medical treatment or evaluation.
On Jan 4 Father took daughter for the first time EVER to see the therapist she had had for over a year. Where she disclosed I beat her.

Jan 7 CPS came and I lost my daughter.

Things progressively getting worse. She is accusing me of abusing her even in front of supervised visits which is documented that there is no abuse. Courts do NOT read the reports. They believe the fathers words because of what our 8 year old is saying.

I phone calls you can here her being told what to say. I’m visits it has been documented she has said “I’m not allowed to tell you I love you.” “I want to live/leave with you.”

Courts don’t read them, investigations don’t read them. No one cares.

Father has stopped and cut off all contact.

Lawyers say give me $10k and you can have her back in 5 months but you will be in jail between 3-9 months. She is rotting and will cause you problems.

“Cut the finger to save the hand.” “Serious psychological issues.” When you get her back will will be conparenting by month 4.

I don’t believe co parenting or parallel parenting will ever work. Father is excessively hostile, disrespectful, propetuates, creates chaos and confusion, will stop at nothing to win even at the cost of our daughters well being. No one cares. They all want $$$$$$

VanessaEsquibel link
4/28/2019 07:30:00 pm

I need some kinda direction are guidence in all aspects dealing with DCFS


Comments are closed.

    J. Michael Bone, PhD.

    Dr. Bone is an experienced consultant for cases involving Parental Alienation and has spent over 25 years working with high conflict divorce as a therapist, expert witness, mediator, evaluator and consultant, both nationally and internationally. 

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